Threesomes? Meh…

Maybe I’m off or out of the norm here, but I have zero interest in FMF or FFM threesomes. I’m not sure why really, but group sex as a whole hasn’t been a draw for me for a while now.

It’s not that I’ve had any bad experiences. To the contrary, every group experience I’ve been in, be it 3, 4, or more, has been fun. I’ve enjoyed myself thoroughly. I’m just finding Continue reading

Fluid bonded and condoms *post from Fetlife*

The following post showed up in my Fetlife timeline today and I found it very interesting. It made total sense to me, but had ways of defining fluid bonding that honestly I hadn’t before thought that in-depth about. This has been directly copied and pasted, and linked, with the permission of the author. 

Trblemaker’s original post on Fetlife
“So follow me on a little trip if you will. For sometime now, I have been at odds with the idea that “fluid bonding” only takes place during “unprotected” intercourse. I have struggled to see this as being true. I know some are going “Hold up a sec, what do you mean!?!?!” Just follow along, and maybe you will see what I mean.

So lets say I meet a girl, we shall call her….Samantha…Samantha Carter…hahahhaa, where are all my SG fans. Ok, back on track.

So Sam and I hit it off, and we decide to start dating. We go out a couple of times, and things are really good between the two of us. On one date, she decides to give me head before we go to dinner.No condom is used, and she takes down every drop I have to give. Are we now “fluid bonded?”

Now after dinner and a nice night out, we are back at her place, and one thing leads to another, and I decide to give her head.Again no condom is used and I do this until she is a soaking mess. Making sure to drink in as much of her as I can. Are we now bonded now?

The night ends, there is no “intercourse” on this night. Now I am sure for many reading this, they are going” Nope, you are not bonded, because you did not cum in her cunt.” But wait, did she not drink down all that I could give her? Did I not do the same to her?

We continue to date, and after a few more dates, we both find out that we are into “water sports.” (Oh I so just heard a bunch of you go “That’s just nasty!”)So one thing leads to another, and she allows me to piss all over her, and I her on me.Lets say that we even drink in a little of each other. Mind you, we have yet to have physical intercourse. Are we bonded now?

Now lets say that we are about two or three months into our relationship, and we decide that we want to scene together. So we do all our negotiations, and we decide that blood play will be ok, if skin is broken. Well in the mist of our play, I break her skin. She starts to bleed, and I decide to lick up her blood. (hahahahah more “nasty”) Are we bonded now?

So Sam and I have done all of these things now. We have enjoyed a great relationship up to this point. We have done all kinds of things to each other except have physical intercourse. So we decide that it is time for us to take that step in our relationship. Now the condom comes into play.

In talking about this next step, we agree that we are not ready to be “fluid bonded” to each other, so condoms are a must. Beside they help to prevent any STDS that might be out there. Mind you, we have already seen each others tests, and we are both clean. Oh but there is the chance we might get pregnant if we do not use them. Ok, well I have been fixed for 11 years now, and Sam for 6. Or maybe she is just on the pill.

I bring up all of these “what ifs” areas, because here is where my struggles with the idea of fluid bonding comes from.
See I personally believe that the moment you decide to “open mouth” kiss me, or to give me any form of oral sex, and I decide to do the same to you, and there is ANY fluid exchange. Well we are now fluid bonded!

At this point, I have drank in as much of you as I possibly can, so if you have something that did not show on your test, chances are pretty good, that I now have it! Now we are bonded, and that leaves me with one question….

What is the point of using a condom now?

Now I know a lot of people are going to be like… “Dude, WTF!?!?!” But before you blast me with your comments, just take a moment to think about what I am saying.

Now if you are the type of person that ensures that some form of protection is used in any and all sexual encounters, then this might not make much sense to you. But if you are the type that only sees a condom for use in intercourse….well….

Thank you for taking time to read this.


How I’ve grown since we opened our marriage

Tonight I chatted with the first guy I met and was with after Gun and I opened our marriage. It made me realize how much I have learned about myself and have grown in the past three and a half years. 

Back then I was married mom who’d only really had experience with one guy (other than some making out and getting felt up by one other guy). I was curious about being with another man, but still wanted to be with my husband. 
Since we opened our marriage, we’ve touched upon so many facets of non-monogamy. Open relationship (casually dating separately), swinging (playing with couples together), fwb (good friends we play with), and polyamory (deeper than casual relationships with others). 
We’ve also started discovering our individual kinks, as it were. That’s the one main area that Gun and I have differed on. He’s realized that he loves the hunt, as it were. He likes meeting new women, to have a few fwb. I’ve realized that I’m polyamorous, that I prefer a very select few deeper relationships. Also, with the help of my poly hubby Bob (also my Master), and my boyfriend Erik, I’m in the process of discovering my submissive side. 
It hasn’t been an easy road, but I wouldn’t change any of it. 

Quad Weekend recap – Bob’s Birthday Bash

My hubby Gun leaves today on a work trip, and he won’t be back home until next week Friday. This will be the first time we’ll he apart for that long since we moved into the same house over 19 years ago. I’m happy he’s getting this opportunity, and know I’ll be fine at home with our boys. Funny enough, what I’m really not looking forward to is his dog being completely lost without him lol. Though I can’t deny, I’m also not looking forward to going without sex for that long. That’ll be the longest break since we opened up. I guess we’ll see what happens, and how squirrelly I’m going 😉 Continue reading

Relationship evolution

My relationship with Gun has evolved in the 19 years we’ve been together, moreso the last almost 3 years since we’ve opened up, so why should our poly relationship be any different? When a relationship evolves, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. With open communication, it’s actually a good thing. People can change, people can grow, and with that change and/or growth, if a relationship doesn’t evolve it’ll become stagnant and die off.

Continue reading

How we opened up and beyond

I’m guessing if you’ve found this blog you’ve actually read my twitter bio, as I’m not promoting this anywhere (or hadn’t for a while). I’m not writing this for attention, but I just wanted some place to write down my thoughts. For those who are observant, I thought I’d give a rundown of how we got into non-monogamy and how we’ve settled into it since.

I was a very innocent and shy 20yr old when I met my hubby. From when we first got together he said if I wanted to explore outside of him, we could talk about it, & I could. Well, it wasn’t for another 16yrs that I would get the confidence and guts to bring it up. I’ve never been a small girl, but had let myself go a lot since getting married and having kids. The summer I was 36, I had an awakening and started to do something about it.  About a month later, I signed up for a free dating website and started chatting with a few guys.  After talking in depth with my hubby, we decided to let me explore (I in turn, told him he could go have fun too), and we opened our marriage.
Continue reading