I tweeted the other day about how I feel like a walking contradiction these days. I had simultaneously felt the strong want to go dancing, to let loose, and be free, while I’ve also been thinking a lot lately about submission, being controlled, restrained, and guided. Continue reading
My hubby Gun leaves today on a work trip, and he won’t be back home until next week Friday. This will be the first time we’ll he apart for that long since we moved into the same house over 19 years ago. I’m happy he’s getting this opportunity, and know I’ll be fine at home with our boys. Funny enough, what I’m really not looking forward to is his dog being completely lost without him lol. Though I can’t deny, I’m also not looking forward to going without sex for that long. That’ll be the longest break since we opened up. I guess we’ll see what happens, and how squirrelly I’m going 😉 Continue reading
My mood has been up and down the past week or two, taking a more downward turn the last couple of days.
Why? Well, PMS is part of it. My emotions can go on a roller coaster ride the week before I start my period. But I know there’s more to it. Some are easier to voice than others. The overwhelming emotion I’ve been feeling is lonliness. Lost. Adrift. I know I have many people that love me, care about me, but everyone is literally or has felt metaphorically far away. Everyone in our quad has kind of been trying their own thing, in regards to the lifestyle, playing alone. I even was looking myself and had been talking to one guy in particular. He was nice, and was attractive but the more I learned about him, the more I saw him as a player and that wasn’t what I was looking for. We had set up a day to meet, but when I got a text from him hemming and hawing, I gave him an out. Overall, I wasn’t upset about it, but it was still a bit of a blow. It added to the lonely feeling that had been floating around.
I haven’t really had much to say lately.
I just came back from the annual ladies weekend I’ve gone on for the lady half dozen years. It’s a group that started with my mom and her work friends, but I’ve brought my vanilla BFF the last few years, and this year introduced my gf Lexxi to the gang. We all had a fantastic, relaxing weekend. My vanilla BFF knows about my lifestyle, and knows our partner situation, and accepts me for who I am. While us girls were away, Gun and Bob had a “guys” weekend with our kids and all the dogs. They decided that next year will be kid and dog free for them lol.