#PolyProbs – TimingĀ 

I think the most frustrating thing I find about polyamory is timing. Even when sharing Google calendars amongst your partners, nothing is straight forward. 

If I’m free and one of my partners isn’t. Or perhaps then I make plans only to find out he is free after all. If plans aren’t somewhat proactively made, it could be weeks or longer bereeen getting to spend time together. Plus for me, knowing when I’ll be seeing them again is something to look forward to (which is why we usually plan quad weekends in 3-6 month ahead chunks).

If there’s been something I’m wanting to discuss then I might need to sit on it for a while as the partner I want to talk to could be busy, or perhaps it’s better to be talked about in person which means weeks could possibly pass before it can be relayed and hashed out. Though if it’s important than I usually try to find a way to text and talk in the mean time, or else I’ll just stew and overthink it which is never good. 

Space is another big problem we face a lot, but that’s a whole other post…

This thought started out as a tweet, but quickly grew to more than 140 characters lol. 

#polyproblems

What I find the toughest part of polyamory is being patient.

Relationships basically get put on pause or on super slow-mo between times together. If there’s physical distance of any sort, the time between can be rather significant. When something potentially powerful just happened or is on the cusp of possibility happening, it’s difficult to have to basically “hold that thought” and wait. Especially if your partner(s) is(are) busy, or aren’t talkative over text. Or if you’re trying to figure out your own thoughts and feelings, and aren’t able to really talk them through.

This thought started as a tweet, but grew to way more than 140 characters, so I decided to make a small ranty-ish post instead. 

Mood swings

My mood has been up and down the past week or two, taking a more downward turn the last couple of days.

Why? Well, PMS is part of it. My emotions can go on a roller coaster ride the week before I start my period. But I know there’s more to it. Some are easier to voice than others. The overwhelming emotion I’ve been feeling is lonliness. Lost. Adrift. I know I have many people that love me, care about me, but everyone is literally or has felt metaphorically far away. Everyone in our quad has kind of been trying their own thing, in regards to the lifestyle, playing alone. I even was looking myself and had been talking to one guy in particular. He was nice, and was attractive but the more I learned about him, the more I saw him as a player and that wasn’t what I was looking for. We had set up a day to meet, but when I got a text from him hemming and hawing, I gave him an out. Overall, I wasn’t upset about it, but it was still a bit of a blow. It added to the lonely feeling that had been floating around.
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Tinder pet peeves

Well, I’ve recently signed up on the app Tinder. It’s a simple app, it’s to let you see people (who also have the app), that are in your area, or whatever distance you decide to search in. It connects to Facebook, will pull your info and pictures to the app, but doesn’t give out or post any info on your Facebook.

It’s great in theory, but what annoys the fuck out of me are how lazy some people are. How long does it take to write a few words for a bio? Even just “hey, drop me a line.” would be better in my opinion than nothing.

And don’t get me started on the pictures. Blurry, or have multiple people in them (makes me wonder who the profile is for). Some have landscape pics, or obscure shots, or even no pics whatsoever, makes me wonder what they are trying to advertise about themselves. Also, if you have a pic of your family in it, a bio explaining your situation would be highly beneficial.

The one thing that I’ve found with the app itself that’s annoying has to do with the distance you set. I guess it’s because people move around, but it’s disappointing to find out someone you’ve “matched” with doesn’t actually live within the km radius I’ve set.

That being said, I’ve started talking to a few guys on there. Three really aren’t close, and I’ll probably never meet. One is in my city, but I’m getting an odd vibe from him, so don’t know if I’ll meet him or not. There is one guy though who I’ve been talking to that I will meet, probably next week. I’ll let you know how that goes.