Musings before the holidays

This is a heavier topic post. Not really Poly or kinky related at all, but are just thoughts I need to get out.

We’re slowly getting done what we need to around the house before Christmas, which has been slowly lowering my stress level.

I think the main reason I’m wanting everything the best they can be this year is for my mom. My parents don’t live close by, and they’re coming to spend a few days at our place. The thing is, my mom has a terminal illness, and she’s been going downhill a lot the last few months. I don’t know how much longer she’ll be around, especially being able to really do anything (albeit at a much slower pace). At her diagnosis almost a year ago, the typical life expectancy for what she has is 3-5 years. There is no cure, only some treatments (one of which she was approved to receive, however the side effects were making her feel horrible, so she’s been talking quality over quantity lately).

I’m an only child, and have always been close to my mom. I’ve been trying to deal with each piece of information I find out about her disease, but it’s not easy. Especially since they live 5 hours away. None of my parents family or friends from before they retired live anywhere near them.

I’m hosting an “open house” for them (well her really) on boxing day, for Family and friends to come see my mom and spend time with her. I’m hoping the weather won’t suck as we live an hour+ north of the people who’d want to come see her. From the few emails my dad has sent me on his own, I know she’s not doing too well. Even she says she doesn’t know what she’d do without my dad.

That’s another thing, my dad. I am so much like him in many ways. We’re both very independent, keep to ourselves, and when I’m social situations we don’t really say much. I know he’s got a few golf buddies up where they are, but most friends they’ve made have been because of my outgoing mom. My dad’s siblings live in another country, and my mom’s family is all closer to where I grew up, and these days most of them are in Florida over the winter.

I guess it’s part of growing older…having the reality check if your parents getting old, and what happens when roles might reverse.

It’s not easy…and I really feel quite alone in all of this.

2 thoughts on “Musings before the holidays

  1. Violeteyes says:

    ((Hugs)) my dear friend. I’m glad you’re writing some of this out.

  2. It is good to write this out, sending you good thoughts

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