Need

I know I’m loved, but am I needed?

Really needed? Like bone aching need? The kind of need where sometimes they think they can’t function without having me there, and then aren’t able to control themselves when I am…

I read a post on Fetlife a few weeks ago about someone detailing the raw, passionate way their lover just needed them at that moment. It wasn’t pretty, but it was real. It struck a chord with me that I haven’t been able to shake.

I enjoy being used by my loves, but sometimes I don’t want to just be a hole for them to use, I want to be the hole they want to use because it’s me that’s needed so overwhelmingly, and not just a fuck, or to give me some sort of experience.

If I am or have been, I haven’t really felt it. Not to the degree I’m pondering anyway.

As I said to start, I know that I’m loved. I have no doubts at all about that. I just don’t know if I’m needed in that organic and emotional way, where we can both let go and be consumed by each other then bring one another back up to the surface…I’d love to feel that…every now and then…

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