It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this settled and content with my life. My weird and mentally off summer, transitioned into fall where a few good conversations have made a world of difference.
Things with Gun and I have been decent. He’s been going through his own shit, so that’s spilled over at times, making him mentally and physically distant. It’s been hard…seeing someone you love struggle so much, but not being able to help. I hope things can turn around for him sooner than later as I find his mood can permeate into mine without trying. I guess that’s what happens when you’ve been with someone for over half of your life.
Bob and I have settled quite nicely into our D/s relationship, and I have gained so much new insight to myself over the past 6-8 months. I’m a lot more stable in knowing what I want and need on that side of myself. I still struggle at times, usually when I have some submissive needs that rear their head or when it’s that hormonal time of the month for me (that is often the time I find my sub side is the neediest), but when I let Bob know I’m struggling he does everything he can over the distance to soothe me. I’ve been asking Bob lately what kind of things he needs out of our D/s. He’s been focusing on me for so long, but it’s a give and take like any other relationship. He gives and gives all the time, but rarely takes anything for himself. It’s a quality I do love about him, but I fear he’ll burn out. Self care is important for everyone, as is helping take care of your partner.
Erik and I went through a very odd phase this summer. We had talked and agreed last spring about incorporating some D/s into our relationship, but pretty much as soon as that started it abruptly stopped. I was kind of left in a lurch with no explanation, and I basically fell like a rock. Part of me felt so lost…we still touched base daily but really didn’t speak about anything, and we weren’t together in person all that often. I know he’s been struggling with things in his life so I didn’t want to push. I still tried to get him to talk a couple of times when we saw each other in the late summer/early fall, but I think it wasn’t until later this fall that he actually heard me. I had been fast approaching the end of my rope and just wasn’t happy with the way things had been going. I even spoke with his wife Mia about it; trying to see if she could shed some insight on what had been going on, especially since she and I had almost stopped talking during the summer as well…that itself honestly had me confused and a bit hurt on top of it all. Anyway Erik and I then had a couple of good discussions and I think understand each other a little better now. Since then things between us have been a lot more open and communicative, though there are still some questions I have, more discussions will need to be had, but it’s a huge step forward considering how far back we’d gone the last while.
Work is still shitty work, but I’m putting resumes out there. Making and selling chainmaille jewelry has been an incredible creative outlet that’s helped keep me sane over the last half of 2016.
At New Years we had Bob’s girlfriend, her boyfriend, and the bf’s other girlfriend (I haven’t thought of or had “names” approved by them as of yet, hence the vague references lol) stay with us for the weekend. On New Year’s Eve, we celebrated with them, Erik and Mia, Chad and Melissa, and our friend Lizzi and her hubby. We spent the evening having a few drinks, playing RockBand, and some Jackbox Party games on the Xbox. It was a fun very poly New Year.
Last weekend was Bob’s birthday weekend, a fun time was had and that may warrant a post all on it’s own…
The quad is taking a vacation with Gun’s and my kids next month, and I know it’s something that’s been helping my mood lately too. A week at Disney for the 6 of us should be a blast. It’ll be Gun’s and our kids’ first time to Disney, and our first real family vacation too. We’re all excited and can’t wait!
Oh, we also just got a new kitten. He’s soooo cute!
I think that’s it for now 🙂