Wow, it’s been a while since I actually wrote anything on here, other than the 30 days of kink thing, which I finished. Yay me!
There isn’t much new going on with me, other than being super busy at work overall and still applying for new jobs wherever I get the chance. My hubby Gun and I are doing well, and home life has been crazy with birthdays and holidays over the past couple of months. After next week, it should die down again until next spring (we have 5 birthdays, Easter, Mother’s Day, and an anniversary all within 2 months). Gun and a friend of his started up a podcast a few weeks ago. They’ve had a few minor issues, but seem to be working out the kinks. No, it’s not that type of podcast, it’s vanilla and about gaming, movies and such. Since they use their real names, I’m not giving out the title of it here lol. On a different note, I really wish he could find a new female connection of his own though. It’s been a while since I’ve seen him giddy and excited over someone new, and I’m missing having that compersion factor with him.
The Quad is doing great. We’ve seen each other a lot over the past couple of months, between birthdays, and Bob and Lexxi book-ending a trip south with visits to our place. They’ll be over again in a couple of weeks for Lexxi’s birthday. We’re still figuring out what to do for that.
Things between my boyfriend Erik and I are good. He’s been quite busy lately, so we haven’t seen each other too much over the past month, but we’ve been talking to some degree daily. Plus we’re spending the night together this coming weekend. I can’t deny that I’m really looking forward to that 🙂
I started exercising regularly again a few weeks ago, and it has definitely helped my mood. I feel more stable, even when things are bugging me or bringing me down, I haven’t quite felt the same despair I’d felt more than enough times in the past year or so. With the clearer head, I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching about myself, and my submission in particular. It’s something I’m finding I truly love. It feels natural and is very fulfilling for me. I think I could get so deeply immersed within if the situation were be optimal…but it’s not. Not for that path anyway. So, I’ve been trying to find the balance that works for me, and the relationships that I’m in. I won’t deny that I have some good days, and some bad days when it comes to this.
There are two Doms in my life, and I find that I give myself over completely when I’m with either of them. Bob is my Sir, and we seem to be settling into a good place in our D/s relationship. He brings out the playful masochist in me; the girl who thrives on doing what I can for him, while he enjoys pushing my pain limits and seeing what my body can handle from his sadist ways. The formality with us is relaxed, but still there to a degree. Erik and I have started some preliminary talks about incorporating D/s into our relationship. It’s something that’s inherent with us. I realize now that I had submitted to him for months before I had a clue. His style seems to be much more behaviour based. This is an aspect that has been intriguing me more and more as of late. Anyway, we’ll see where that goes between us. As much as I want to steep myself further and deeper into my submission, I realize that rushing isn’t the way to go. Both Bob and Erik are married and live with their full time subs, plus I’m married and live with Gun. It’s just not possible. Though I do think that Gun is enjoying that I’m trying to be more attentive, if I’m seeing he needs something I’ve been offering to get it more often than not these days lol.
So yeah…that’s what’s been going on with me.
I just need a new job. Or better yet, a lottery win!
Come on lucky numbers…