Day 26: What is your opinion on online BDSM play?
Online only is not for me, I need to be able to see my Dom in person sometimes, I need the physical connection. If it works in a healthy way for other people, then more power to them. I just couldn’t. I’ve also found that my submissive side connects and is engaged more when in person than when not. So, for online only, I’d never be able to fully get that, so it would be unfulfilling for me.
Day 27: Do your non-kink interests ever find their way into your kinky activities? If so, how?
No, not really. Other than occasionally hearing music I like during a scene, I can’t think of any examples of this.
Day 28: How do you dress for kink/BDSM play? What significance does your attire have to you?
Generally when I’m in a scene, I’m naked or nearly naked. When knowing I’ll be on display at a club, I know I’ll generally end up with just my panties on, so I wear comfy but attractive ones that won’t roll or slide down on me. Other than that, I don’t think about it too much in regards to kink/BDSM play itself.
Day 29: Do you have a BDSM title (e.g. mistress, slut, pig, whore, princess, goddess, ma’am, sir)? What is your opinion of the use of titles in general?
No, I don’t have a title. I’m a submissive, but that’s as far “defined” or “named” that it goes and that’s fine with me. Titles are subjective and generally personal to the individual. I think too many people get hung up on titles and labels that can pigeon hole them into a box which might be very misrepresentative to what they actually mean or want. I do have a couple of nicknames, and I cherish those as they were picked for me by loved ones. There is one name I will never allow anyone to call me and that’s “pet”. That has been my Dad’s nickname for me since I was a baby, so, yeah no thanks.
I do enjoy honorifics as a way to respect my Dom, however there are some I’m uncomfortable with. Daddy is the biggest one, to me it connotates father and not just a caregiver…I just can’t go there. I also don’t feel very comfortable using Master. I think this is more because of what a Master means to me. He would be someone I’d completely give my life over to, and I’m not ready to do that. I’m not sure I can, or will ever be as I believe it would have to be a primary, live-in relationship, and that’s just not possible.
Day 30: Write whatever BDSM/kink related thing you want to write about.
Hmm…write whatever I want to write about? Decisions, decisions!
I’ve learned a lot about myself in the past couple of years. I’m non-monogamous, but I need a connection in my relationships. It can take me a while to fall in love, but when I do I fall pretty deep. I get insecure, envious and jealous, but am getting better at identifying these feelings and working through them. I’m also quite kinky, and somewhat masochistic. I like having various implements wielded on me. I enjoy pain, especially with sex. I love to be dominated in bed, and am also finding that giving myself outside of the bedroom can be quite freeing, though I couldn’t bottom or submit to just anyone. It honestly scares the shit out of me…but now that I’ve scratched the surface on my submission, I need to know more. I crave it more than air. Heck to really put it in perspective for those who know me, I crave it more than wine for goodness sake! I often find that I’m at a loss though… I’m hoping that as my journey progresses, it’ll all fall into place for me.
I’m a picky polyamorous kinky submissive, who’s still got a ton to learn about herself 🙂