For a while from about mid-December, things between Erik and I had gotten a little weird. He and I had a date at his house the day after his and Mia’s baby was born, which was a great evening that started off with us watching a movie, and ended with us having sex on his living room floor. After that, I let him know that because of their new addition, plus having a toddler, I was pretty much leaving contact with me up to him. They’d need time to settle in as a family, a brand new routine, and as much as you prepare a toddler for a new baby, they have no idea until the wriggling, screaming bundle of joy is there. I know since I went through it myself more than a decade earlier. Erik kept telling me things will be fine, I don’t know if he was trying to delude himself or reassure me. Either way, it really didn’t help my mindset a couple of weeks after when I was missing him terribly, and he kept saying all was okay…it wasn’t, not yet. When he lost an entire day and we didn’t speak (which had never happened when we were both in the same country since we started chatting), I knew things weren’t settled.
Just after the new year, we had a coffee date. We both needed to spend some time with each other, and had a few concerns to talk out. We also had two dates planned in mid-January, a date to go see the musical Kinky Boots, then another to see the season opener at the roller derby. The Kinky Boots evening was fun. The musical was fantastic, and we had dinner after. It was a great, relaxed evening between the two of us. Since it was a weeknight and it was late by the time I got back to my car, we didn’t spend much time making out before parting. Plus we’d be seeing each other in a few days. When planning the derby date, Erik told me that Mia suggested that we get a hotel room for some privacy. In the days previous I knew it wouldn’t be an overnight thing, partly because before this was suggested Mia had told me she wanted to get her doctor’s “all clear” after the baby before Erik being gone overnight. Also I knew Erik wasn’t ready to leave Mia and the kids for too long, but I was looking forward to having some uninterrupted alone time with him before and after the derby.
I met Erik in the mid-afternoon at a carpool lot about halfway between our houses, which was also on the route to the hotel we were going to. We checked in around 3:30pm or so, and were thoroughly getting reaquainted not long after that. Afterwards, he checked in with Mia, and we got dressed to head to the derby. Apparently she had a kind of side bet going that we wouldn’t make it there…we did lol. She had the same thoughts when we had our overnight in October and we ventured out then too. Hopefully another time we have the same opportunity we won’t leave the room 😉 The hotel was about 10 minutes away from where the derby was held, which was good as we didn’t leave until close to it’s starting time at 5pm. We got there, found a place for our chairs and watched the last part of the first half of the first match (clear as mud? lol). During the intermission, we wandered the vendor tables. We ran into Erik and Mia’s friend who was a skater in the derby the previous year. I had met her before, and she knew exactly who I was lol. We hugged and chatted, then Erik and I got a coffee before heading back to our seats. We finished watching the first game, and the first half of the second game, before we decided to head out, grab pizza, and go back to the hotel room.
With pizza and chicken bites in front of us, Erik and I sat cross legged on the bed eating, watching tv, and talking. Once sufficiently fueled, we laid down on the bed and snuggled under the covers. Hands started to wander. One thing that Erik has taught me was to cum on command. Bob can do it as well with words, but Erik can also get me to with a touch. I couldn’t tell you how long he was caressing me and teasing me, but I was a quivering, drippy mess and my brain couldn’t focus on much of anything. It seemed like not long after that he was sliding himself inside me. It was an incredibly passionate, intense meeting of bodies and minds. I gave myself over to him completely and he stripped me bare. It left me sobbing, and feeling open and vulnerable. He cuddled me and calmed me down afterwards. We talked a little about our feelings. I had been working through various things about all of the men in my life, so I asked him about his own thoughts and feelings. He’s much better at showing his feelings, opposed to using words, so it was more pondering on his part right then.
We snuggled and chatted for a bit longer, watched some tv as well. I let my hands move over his body freely, registering the feel of him under my fingers. I won’t deny I had hoped we could possibly go another round, but he seemed antsy to get back home so we got dressed and gathered our stuff to leave.
I was surprised to find myself on the verge of tears the entire drive back to my car. When we parted, I could feel the shutters roll down around me. If I hadn’t done that, I’d have lost it. Instead I lost it (in a controlled way) on my drive home. I thought about why I felt so vulnerable and on edge. The connection between us is just so strong, and I had been fighting so much over the past few months. I was done fighting…
It was a much needed night for us. There’s something deep between Erik and I. Where it’ll end up, I’m not sure, but I’m going to worry anymore and just let things progress naturally between us.
*update: looking back on that evening, the tears and how I was feeling, I wonder if I was having an abrupt bout of sub drop mixed in with the overwhelming emotions… Something to ponder anyway.