Well, if you’ve read my blog before, you know that I have had a decision to make. Last month Bob, my Sir, offered his consideration collar to me. He knew it wasn’t a decision I would make lightly so he told me to take all the time I needed.
About a week and a half ago, after a lot of conversations and soul searching, a list of pros, joys, cons, and fears, I decided to accept. It’s a first major step in this submissive journey I’ve found myself on. The fears I have are still present but there’s no way I can either try to work through them, or see how feasible this all is, unless I give it a try.
On Wednesday night, Bob presented me with a gorgeous hand made blue leather collar, along with matching wrist and ankle cuffs, and manacles.
After the stress of the past two weeks, this past week and weekend were exactly what I needed. Starting earlier in the week with an amazing date with Erik, to Bob and Lexxi arriving on Wednesday evening. Getting my collar. Being able to release and float, get bound and freed at the same time. With every thump of Igg and Ook (Sir’s balanced florentine finger floggers) on my back, I could feel the pent up feelings lifting away. Feeling the rope wind around my body, had me relaxing and letting go. Sitting around the living room just talking and laughing made my soul happy. Watching our dogs play and make a new friend was joyous.
I have a feeling that Gun and I are at the start of a tough road with our younger son but we’ll be there together for him, and each other. Along with support from our friends and loved ones, I think being able to submit and let go might be something that will help me deal immensely. I guess time will tell.