A next step in my journey 

Well, if you’ve read my blog before, you know that I have had a decision to make. Last month Bob, my Sir, offered his consideration collar to me. He knew it wasn’t a decision I would make lightly so he told me to take all the time I needed.

About a week and a half ago, after a lot of conversations and soul searching, a list of pros, joys, cons, and fears, I decided to accept. It’s a first major step in this submissive journey I’ve found myself on. The fears I have are still present but there’s no way I can either try to work through them, or see how feasible this all is, unless I give it a try.

On Wednesday night, Bob presented me with a gorgeous hand made blue leather collar, along with matching wrist and ankle cuffs, and manacles.  
After the stress of the past two weeks, this past week and weekend were exactly what I needed. Starting earlier in the week with an amazing date with Erik, to Bob and Lexxi arriving on Wednesday evening. Getting my collar. Being able to release and float, get bound and freed at the same time. With every thump of Igg and Ook (Sir’s balanced florentine finger floggers) on my back, I could feel the pent up feelings lifting away. Feeling the rope wind around my body, had me relaxing and letting go. Sitting around the living room just talking and laughing made my soul happy. Watching our dogs play and make a new friend was joyous. 

  

I have a feeling that Gun and I are at the start of a tough road with our younger son but we’ll be there together for him, and each other. Along with support from our friends and loved ones, I think being able to submit and let go might be something that will help me deal immensely. I guess time will tell. 

*reblog* An open letter to lust

Oh! *bites lip*
There are many parts of this that I can relate to feeling/wanting.

Dancing the Path

Dearest Master,

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I need You. No, not need, not that sweet, hot, sticky, clinging need of a wife, no…Master I want You, every fucking piece of You. I need You as only a wanton sub can want Her Beloved Master…

I long to be bound, to feel the tight rope cutting so elegantly, the knots adding their own torturous blissful pressure. I want to be spread open before You, my ankles secured to the spreader bar, bent over the bench, my back arched waiting to receive. To feel that sting, the thud, the echoing of the sound as You whip me…I want to release, to whimper and cry, push back into your blows, begging for more until I can no longer breathe through my tears….

My mouth needs to feel Your divine cock using it. My lips miss the feel of your flesh and my tongue craves no other flavor…

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Coping with a bout of really bad sub drop

My last bout of sub drop really was a pretty horrific one.

We’d just finished our last quad weekend, where Bob and I had a few very emotional talks, along with some play and an awesome flying on the waves of subspace session.  What really exasperated the situation is that I was spending the majority of the following week alone.  Well, not quite, but I would have very little face to face contact with any of my beloved ones.  I was heading away for the first half of the week, then Gun was heading away for the following weekend. Continue reading