*reblog* Polyamory…..My Interpretation

I love this! Ultimately, I share the same interpretation of polyamory.


I made this comment on The Perfect Woman.Then loved it so much that I really wanted to put it here to reflect on my interpretation of how I view our Poly lifestyle………

You totally only live once. We often have more than one child; more than one parent; more than one deep & meaningful friend. And we love them all the same amounts, but just for different things about their personalities & traits. Life would not be whole without the intricate tapestry that makes your existence happy & fulfilling. Therefore, love others. Feel good about them. Be proud & be happy that you can open your heart to many & not conform to the rules of monogamy, but conform to the rules of your heart 🙂

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Another Love

I haven’t really spoken much on here recently about one other very important relationship in my life, my boyfriend Erik.  Things with him are going quite well.  I talk to him daily, and we’ve been able to make time to see each other every week or two on average.  Some of our time together is just hanging out, or meeting up in public, other times we’ve been able to steal some private time.

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One thing I love from a bdsm session is the emotional release. It’s only completely happened to me twice, the first time I wasn’t sure what was going on with me, the second being in a semi public place (when Bob had me restrained at our local swing club on his birthday). 

I miss that total emotional release. It’s definitely one thing I can’t see Gun ever trying to replicate. He can’t stand hurting a woman, whether she wants it or not, so seeing her break down the walls and end up a sobbing puddle would probably just kill him. I just couldn’t do that to him. 

Bob nearly got me to that point twice this past weekend, but ended up stopping just short of it. So, it’s still somewhat bottled and under pressure. 

That emotional release, especially when paired with white hot sex after, is a drug. It’s the feeling I crave and actually physically ache for. 

Since the next quad visit will be a weird one (Lexxi and I will be heading off to be part of a ladies weekend), and my kids will be home for at least part of it, I know I won’t get a session that would bring me to that place. 

So, this kitten will rub her ass, take a look at the bruises she has, and smile while waiting patiently until the next time she can hope to feel that way. 

The long weekend with the quad 

This past weekend we celebrated Lexxi’s birthday. It was a good week and a half early, but timing wise it fit well, it was a long weekend, and we wouldn’t see her again until after it. Since our boys were staying at Gun’s parents place, so I’d also been promised a session from Bob. We got to their place just after 11pm on Friday evening. We exchanged greetings, and settled in the backyard around the fire pit, with a drink, while our dogs all said their hello’s and played. 

Bob showed us all his most recent purchase – vampire gloves. They were black gloves with tacks basically imbedded in the fingers. It’s a sensation play toy. 

He had mentioned to me that he was going to use them on me that night, so he brought me inside. He grabbed a grey cushion and led me to Lexxi’s dressing room. I realized quickly that the cushion was mine. I didn’t know he’d gotten one for me, so I was very humbly pleased. I was also amused as the cushion that Erik has for me at his house is also grey lol. He told me to strip. I then knelt on the cushion and put my hands on my knees. Hearing Bob move behind me, I just closed my eyes and absorbed the atmosphere. The pin pricks of the gloves started light and slow. I knew he wasn’t going to do much in the way of marking me that night as we were going for a photo shoot on Sunday. His hands dragged across my back, up and down my arms, around my breasts, thighs, and ass. I was moaning the whole time, it felt so good. He carefully squeezed my shoulders. When his fingers trailed down the back of my neck, I groaned loudly and shivered. Goddamn that felt amazing. “You like that, don’t you kitten?” he asked me. I moaned out a “yes.” He did it again and again. I felt my body getting more tense, that string inside me drawing tighter. The thought that fluttered into my brain at that moment was that if someone said “come for me” right then, I would have, a pretty big one too. Bob kept caressing me all over with those gloves, sometimes giving me a light tap on the butt, and I did have a small orgasm, and came close to cumming again. I did use the new safe word that Bob introduced to Lexxi and I to a few times (“purple” meaning keep going, but no harder/more intense than you’re going now, where “yellow” is move on from that but keep the scene going). When my breathing got more ragged, he stopped the scene and sat in the chair in front of me. I laid my head in his lap while he stroked my hair, calming me down. He then brought me into his bedroom and proceeded to fuck me soundly. With the glove play just finished, my body was super sensitive. I actually came from him biting my nipples (and those who know me, know that NEVER happens). I definitely loved those gloves 😍.

The next day Lexxi and I ran a few errands, then after lunch Bob brought me to the local independent sex shop. He was looking for rope and/or a new flogger. He asked me if I saw anything that interested me. My reply was along the lines of “what doesn’t interest me?” Lol. He ended up buying a new cat o’nine tails flogger for his photo shoot, and to play with after 😏. That evening there was a barbecue with some friends we’ve met before, and some new friends that Bob and Lexxi have made from attending local poly meet ups through Fetlife. We had a blast. I really enjoyed meeting them, and have a feeling we’ll see them again. 

Sunday morning we headed out to an abandoned mill for a photo shoot. We were there for about 5 hours, and only stayed on 1 floor of the main building for the shots (there are at least 3 buildings, 3-5 stories each). After heading home, we ordered pizza, then Lexxi and Gun went to walk down by the water, then go hang out at one of the poly friends places. 

Bob took me down to their basement. He told me to strip as he got out the wrist restraints that he made. There was a hook in the ceiling of their laundry room. He left me standing there, hands over my head, while he went to get his chosen implements. I noticed a wall of rackets in front of me, and thought of the possibility of having one of those whacked across my ass. When he came back downstairs, he placed a blind fold on me, and proceeded to start my session. You see, I had tweeted a week or two ago about how I wanted bruises that only I could see. He told me that he would happily do that for me. He used the vampire gloves, ice, different floggers (a soft one, 2 rubber ones, and the cat o’nine tails), and even a racket. I mentioned that a towel under foot would be an idea as I could feel the slipperiness from the melted ice. I also let him know when I was starting to feel light headed, it seemed like standing and having my hands up contributed to that, and only allowed me to be able to take so much from him. When my breathing was starting to hitch, he gently took my hands down and lead me very slowly to the couch in the other room. We sat while I calmed down and he soothed me. Once I had regained my composure, I got redressed and we went out back again. The rest of the evening was relaxing. 

Gun and I got home Sunday evening, after a busy drive, and picking up the kids. 

It was a great weekend, meeting new friends, seeing some we’ve met before, and of course, the 4 of us spending time together. 

Cuba trip, April 2015


I’ve decided to finally write up my recount, thoughts, and impressions of our trip to Cuba last month…Here goes:

We were all driven to the airport at stupid early o’clock in the dark of the morning, and were waiting on the plane to take off at 6:30am.  The bus ride to the resort was fun, the cervesas were flowing and we got to be known as the “loud ones at the back of the bus.”  Well Melissa, Chad, Gun and Lexxi did.  Bob and I were sitting more in the middle of the bus, but moved back there after some other people got dropped off at a different resort.

When Bob booked the trip through his travel agent, he was supposed to arrange that the 3 couples would have rooms all together.  Turns out that Bob and Lexxi were given a room in another building.  After explaining our plight to the front desk, they moved them into the bungalow that the rest of us were in, just down the hall.  We proceeded to get changed into our bathing suits and hit the pool bar…which was conveniently right outside of our bungalow (which Bob and Lexxi’s room faced).  We all got a little buzzed, okay a lot buzzed, and ended up talking to a few other people in the pool.  Melissa was her usual talkative self and would start up conversations with pretty much everyone, lol.  Over the course of the week, we met quite a few people, and ended up kind of having a group of people we hung out with.  I was never one of the “cool” kids in school, I usually stayed quiet and unnoticeable.  It was different to have others come over to us and want to hang out.  It was also really nice not to have to hide who we were.  We weren’t exactly flaunting it in everyone’s faces, all over each other, but we were our usual flirty selves, and people caught on and asked quite quickly.  There didn’t seem to be any judgement (other than hearing “that’s not for us, but cool!” a few times).

Lexxi, Melissa, and I all got massages one day, in view of the ocean.  Us girls and Bob went into town one day, and did a little shopping.  Lexxi and I caught the attention of an employee at the resort (more on that later, we’ll be doing a joint blog).  We went dancing at the resort disco a couple of nights, we watched one of the shows, we even had a group of people playing Cards Against Humanity one night.  We walked around the resort, we swam in the ocean, and spent a LOT of time in the pool with the swim up bar.  “Dos Sweet Babies, por favor” was said a lot to our usual bartender Doniel.  Actually most of the time we didn’t have to say it, he just looked at Lexxi or I, held up 2 fingers, and made them for us 🙂

Gun wasn’t feeling well a couple of the days there, he learned about the importance of staying hydrated.  Bob and Chad went snorkelling one morning,

We got to dine in 3 a la carte restaurants throughout the week.  We went to Seafood, Spanish, and Italian.  They all had good food, but the Italian was our favourite.

“Fun” wise, Lexxi and I ended up swapping rooms about every other night.  Gun, Bob and Chad each had a threesome with Lexxi and I.  Lexxi wrote up her recount of that afternoon, it was amusing when housekeeping came to re-stock the in room bar, just before we started.  We think the guy caught on to what was about to be happening 😉  The quad went down to the beach on our last night, Bob took a few pictures while Lexxi and I went skinnydipping, then had a little fun with Gun.  Other than that, there was a lot of flirting and just enjoying ourselves.  It was a fun, relaxing week.

The resort itself was beautiful, but you could tell it’s still working out some of the bugs since it’s so new.  We had all read the travel reviews, and honestly, for a communist country, at the end of an island, the minor things that happened weren’t unexpected.  Some travellers complained a lot, but we took it in stride.  We were spending a week with some of our closest friends, and with no responsibilities.  The weather was amazing (30+C and sunny all week), the food was plentiful (even if they ran out of some things throughout the week, there was more than enough to choose from), the staff were friendly and helpful, and did I mention unlimited alcohol?

Thanks to Gun, Bob, Lexxi, Melissa, and Chad for helping make it an amazing week.

I know I’ve been quiet lately…

Have you ever felt the excitement from learning something new about yourself, but not really being able to do anything more about it? At least not to the timeline of your own needs, wants, or enthusiasm.

Let me tell you, it’s not fucking easy…
It’s not easy on a couple of fronts, first and foremost, the one(s) who can help me further uncover a part of myself are not my primary partner – my husband. I know he’s having a tough time with this, that there is a part of me he can’t fulfill. Though, to be fair, there’s a part of him that I cannot fulfill, and I have made peace with that – I encourage him to seek it out where he needs to, as long as he communicates (which he does 😊). Secondly, because it’s not my primary partner who can help me, timing and space is a big issue. Partly because what I want to explore generally would not have me quiet. Plus partly what I want to explore would be more of an ongoing basis thing. Neither can happen easily with distance of any sort.
Also I hate my fucking job, my boss is a total bitch, and I have been stressing about money we don’t have. 
These are the struggles in my head lately. 
Being a grown up can sometimes suck (and not in the good way)… 
I plan on writing an overview of our week away in Cuba, plus I am helping Lexxi co-write a blog about an experience down there, I just need to kick myself in the ass to do so 😐