I have come to realize that I can be needy…greedy even. Maybe that’s from so many years of repressing my thoughts and feelings, that since unleashing this side of me and being more open, I just can’t hold back on saying what I want anymore. What it’s seeming that I need.
My old self was very shy and withdrawn. I didn’t express my true thoughts well at all. Since I found a voice and asked to open our marriage, I’ve been breaking through the walls I had up around myself.
It’s been a long time since I completed a post for the FetLife group that I’m in. I’ve been meaning to for the past few, but don’t really have a good excuse.
Hope…what does it mean to me? Ultimately, the possible future. There are a lot of things I hope for.
I hope that my family stays healthy. I hope that my kids grow to have happy lives.
I hope that my quad will one day reside in the same geographical location. LDR’s are difficult, but we’re making it work. Really though, I can’t see this possibly happening before we’re all retired. Family and job obligations keep us all tied to where we currently are. But the hope is still there.
I hope to continue my exploration of BDSM soon. I’ve expressed my wants, and am left waiting patiently.
I hope the relationship I’m developing with my boyfriend keeps going, now that we seem to be back on track. I’ve also really enjoyed getting to know his wife, and hope she becomes a good friend of mine (so far, so good in both circumstances.)
I hope my husband, and my poly spouses find and get what they want. Be it job wise, and/or in other relationships. I love them all and want them to be truly happy.
I hope my best friend of over a decade recovers the best she possibly can from the major surgery she had on her back earlier this week. She’s a tough cookie, but has a long and arduous road ahead of her.
Hope is what can get us through rough times, helps us look towards the light. Hope is what keeps us human, keeps us going. As long as we have hope for something, our lives feel like they have meaning.
If we lose hope in our lives, then there’s a major cause for concern.
I hope that I mean something to some people. I have a few that definitely mean something to me, and they help instill hope in me…
I like the way this entry is written, and it touches upon a lot of feelings I have about jealousy and being polyamorous. It’s a battle, but one that’s definitely worth fighting.
I tweeted the other day about how I feel like a walking contradiction these days. I had simultaneously felt the strong want to go dancing, to let loose, and be free, while I’ve also been thinking a lot lately about submission, being controlled, restrained, and guided. Continue reading