I can firmly day that since I’ve fully realized that I am non-monogamous, and polyamorous, that I’ve felt a “click” in my life. It feels natural. The non-monogamous revaluation came around 3 years ago, the poly one was more recent.
It’s hard to describe. I love my husband more than life. I’ve said it before, he’s my rock, he grounds me and I could never imagine my life without him, but (as bad as it may sound), he’s not my everything and I know I’m not his. Maybe it goes along with the saying “if you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they’re yours.” We just prove that over and over again. It shows that we keep choosing to be together, and that means more to me than the piece of paper that I signed binding my life to his, or even birthing his children, could ever mean.
Where am I going with this? Well being polyamorous isn’t easy. I am currently involved with 3 men, and 1 woman, and they each have my heart to varying degrees. Technology is amazing, and helps keep us in daily contact. Though, even with technology, there are times where nothing can replace being with the individual in person. Be it a conversation that really needs to be face to face, or the little things like a hug, or just hanging out cuddling and watching a movie. Technology can also sometimes be a hindrance, since you can’t convey tone of voice or body language through text. Emojis can help somewhat though 😜. Finding the right words to convey what you’re meaning or feeling can be a struggle, but it’s something I’ve learned to adapt to over the past couple of years. Skype or video chat can be helpful too, but nothing replaces being together in person. However, I do what I have to do in order to foster and nurture my relationships. I’d rather have this issue than not have them in my life.
Balancing everyone’s thoughts and emotions can be tricky at times. Needing to take more than just yourself, or yourself and your spouse, into consideration for things is something you have to get used to. One bonus is that we don’t have to go it alone, we have each other and other outside support which helps a lot. Also we communicate…a lot. It’s a good thing sometimes that we all have big data plans on our phones lol.
We also have some very good friends that we also play with at times. These are the two couples mentioned in the post of Bob’s birthday bash. We love to spend time with them, we can be ourselves and not have to hide anything, plus they’re easy going and fun. Chad and Melissa live pretty close to Gun and I, so we are able to hang out with them more often. I value these friendships and wouldn’t want to change anything about them. A birthday bash sequel is being planned for March, and my boyfriend Erik and his wife Mia will be joining us. That should be an awesome time! The quad is also planning on going on vacation with Chad and Melissa in April, I can’t wait!
I’ve come to realize that I am a very lucky girl. I have some truly amazing people in my life.
My heart and head just feel more free, more at peace now than they ever have in the past.
I feel like I’ve finally found me.