Since Gun and I opened our marriage over 3 years ago, we’ve been constantly evolving within the boundaries of non-monogamy. We’ve been involved in the 3 main areas of it, open relationship, swinging, and polyamory.
We started out just being open, seeing other people separately. That was fun, and I did enjoy it, but something was missing for me.
Since Gun wasn’t really having much luck finding a local, sane, non cheating girl, we decided to sign up on a swinger site and give that a try. We had better results there. We talked to a lot of couples, met a good handful, and even played with a few. During this time I created an anonymous Twitter account so I could voice my thoughts and frustrations. On there, I found a community. We’ve met a bunch of wonderful friends there, some even in person. I enjoy swinging, and still do it under the right circumstances. We’ve never been club swingers, though I love to go dance at them, there’s no judgement like at normal bars. I’m not one that’s a fan of NSA (no strings attached) flings, so when we do, it’s usually with a couple of fwb couples that we know and love to hang out with, even with clothes on 😉
Through Twitter is how we met Bob and Lexxi, the other half of our quad. We met up on a meet and greet weekend with 4 other couples in Niagara Falls. Talked for hours that day, ended up hooking up, and really haven’t looked back. Gun and I were aware of polyamory, and had talked about it before, but concluded we’d cross that bridge when or if we come to it. Well, after a few months, we realized we had stepped on that bridge. Our feelings for them went behind friendship. Turns out they had the same feelings, and so our poly quad was born.
So, where does that leave me? I’m married, in love with another man, and with a woman (although I don’t consider myself bisexual really, Lexxi is different for me). I got the itch to play separately again this summer. I’d hooked up a couple of times with the male half of a couple we hang out with, and realized that although it was fun and I really enjoyed it, I wanted a deeper connection. So, with the blessing of my quad, I signed up on Tinder, then OkCupid. It’s been amusing, that’s for sure. Some of the lines guys come up with are just horrible! But about 3 weeks ago I initiated contact with a guy on OkC. To say we hit it off is putting it mildly.
Bob has said I’m more poly over swinger for months. I think he’s right. If poly means essentially dating while being married, then yes I am. I’m not speculating where this is going with this guy, I don’t operate that way. I take things as they happen, just enjoy the journey.
So, I guess I’m seeing where this journey takes me…the best part of it for me is having the support and love of my husband, my poly husband, and poly wife. They’re my rocks 😊