Relationship evolution

My relationship with Gun has evolved in the 19 years we’ve been together, moreso the last almost 3 years since we’ve opened up, so why should our poly relationship be any different? When a relationship evolves, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. With open communication, it’s actually a good thing. People can change, people can grow, and with that change and/or growth, if a relationship doesn’t evolve it’ll become stagnant and die off.

Our quad has been doing this lately. I would say that it’s currently in an evolution of sorts. We’re all still very much together, closer than ever even, but we’re expanding our boundaries outside the 4 of us, and it can be a little scary at times. At least to us females who seem to process every last minute detail. Some of us have been making connections with people outside of our quad. It’s something Gun and I have done many times before, but haven’t really explored it much since we met Bob and Lexxi. Plus single play isn’t something that Bob and Lexxi had really ventured into before. I have no issues with this happening, but being in a committed quad adds another dynamic to it. I don’t want any additions to change what we all have, and ultimately I don’t think they will, but it’s still there in the back of my mind. This goes for singles or other couples, though so far any couples that we’ve met up with have been good friends with us all, so that has been moot and doesn’t really apply to any of the insecurities I’ve felt with single play.

Will this added person/people change anyone’s feelings? Will this person replace me, make my love forget me? Try to insert themselves in our group? Yes, I know they’re irrational thoughts but I’ve still had them in the past few months. It’s where poly can be difficult, and where communication is key. I know the guys have gotten frustrated with both Lexxi and myself with what seems like our endless talking and verifications, but not being able to have some of these discussions face to face adds an extra layer of difficulty. Body language and tone of voice can say a lot that texting simply cannot. We’ve known each other for over a year and a half now, the past year being poly, and we’re figuring it out. I hope one day down the line, we won’t have this physical distance between us but I know that’s probably not in the cards for a while yet. It’s hard, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll drive myself nuts thinking about it too much. I know and trust my loves, I know and am assured of their feelings for me and where we all stand. That’s really all that matters.

We’ve just come off another amazing weekend together. We really didn’t do much, but seemed to be very busy nonetheless. We had Gun’s fwb over one night for a couple of drinks. That turned into an impromptu mini play session in our back yard. Friday night Lexxi and I tried out one of our plots, sorry I mean plans, and the guys watched us before they took over lol. And Saturday night we had some very good friends over, and had an absolute blast.

We’ve had to cancel one of our upcoming planned weekends, it actually wouldn’t have been a quad weekend but a swap weekend.  We did it once last summer where us girls swapped houses for the weekend.  We were going to do a husband swap this time, but I guess that’ll have to wait for another date 😦  Ah well, we have a few weekends planned until October…

6 thoughts on “Relationship evolution

  1. BraxBs says:

    Reblogged this on JustMe.

  2. lexxiblue says:

    I am going to miss the one on one that swap weekend provides, but we’ll make it up at some point. And yes, unfortunately for us, irrational thoughts do pop up in our minds. But it gets easier to get over them when we are able to talk. I appreciate that. Our communication skills with each other had evolved tremendously over the last couple of months, which I’m glad to say adds to our relationship.

  3. IAmOpenToIt says:

    Keep talking ladies. I’m finding if I’m not talking, getting clarification and feeling comfortable I start to obsess. Not fun

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