PMS vs emotional walls

The week before I’m due to start my period, my hormones go haywire. I can go from happy, to pissed off, to a sad crying mess in the span of virtually seconds. It’s annoying as hell for me so I can only imagine what those who have to deal with me think.
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Consent *Kinklings Topic*

Last week, I joined a FetLife group called The Kinklings. It’s a writing group that gives you a topic each week to write about. This is my first submission.

Consent is a big deal to me especially since I’ve started to, and want to explore more of my kinky side, particularly BDSM, bondage, and pain play. This is not something I would ever think of letting just anyone do to me, and I know my husband would not be comfortable with someone he didn’t know helping me explore that. I have delved into it with my other hubby Bob. Distance, timing and health reasons have prohibited much exploration for quite a while until last weekend. It was amazing, and though some people would not have wanted to do it, was fully consented to on my part. Communication is key to consent, just as communication is key to non-monogamy.

Consent is important.

Consent is trust.

Consent is imperative in this lifestyle I’ve chosen to live in.

Consent is sexy.

And consent can be taken away, if any of the things I’ve mentioned aren’t met.

Another quad weekend has come and gone

Well we just finished another quad weekend, and I think it was one of the best we’ve had in a long while. We all seemed as healthy as can be, and were in good spirits. It was relaxed, it was fun, and we definitely weren’t in a rut this weekend 😉

We got there just before 11:00pm on Friday night, us and our giant puppies. I think they were almost as excited as I was when we pulled up into their driveway. They couldn’t wait to get into the backyard to see their friends (Bob and Lexxi’s two dogs). After hugs and kisses all around…okay maybe not all around, Gun and Bob exchanged pleasantries, but not hugs and kisses lol! We had a few drinks, a few laughs, then realized it was almost 1:00am. So, off to bed we headed. This time Bob and I were upstairs, and Gun and Lexxi were downstairs. Let’s just say that hot sex abounded throughout the house, then we all zonked out.
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Our “rules”

We’ve been talking a lot about rules for alone play within our poly quad lately. With us all getting into (or back into for Gun and I) playing alone recently, it’s been discussed a LOT.

We’re essentially dating for four, even when we play alone. It’s not just you to consider like before being married, or even you and your spouse like when swinging. We’re fluid bonded, so one persons decision could possibly impact three others. It’s very different than swinging or group play when you’re with your primary spouse.

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Processing play

I’m trying to write a post recapping our quad weekend and I have no idea where to start, I feel adrift. You see, the morning after getting home from that weekend I headed north west to a cabin on a campground that my parents rented for a week. This way I could spend some time with them, plus bring home our boys.

I came up here on a high. It was an amazing weekend (and I will recap it shortly), but last night both of my guys played alone, and I’m struggling with the reconnecting phase right now. Distance and texting isn’t great for that, let alone I’ve got my parents and kids here in a small space, it’s not like I can find a place away from them to do that. It’s enough to try to type this out. There was I guess a miscommunication with one hubby, and it was a first time alone play for the other hubby.

I was able to text uninterrupted with Gun last night after everyone went to bed, so really all I need there is to physically be with him. I’m very good otherwise (though he still owes me 😉).

Bob, I’m actually doing okay with the play part, which I really wasn’t sure how I’d handle. Even last night, we were able of text a little bit, and I was fine. I’m still fine with it, so I’m not sure why I feel this way.

I think I’m just really just seeing how texting is a limited communication resource. It can’t replace actually being with the person. One I will see tomorrow, the other not for a few weeks. Not to mention my girl Lexxi, I wish I could have been there in person for her yesterday and today. Plus I’d kill for a hug from her right now.

*reblog* Long distance

This is kind of a response to the blog I just reblogged, from the woman’s point of view. Whether or not her feelings are “right”, they’re relevant. No, I don’t believe that any woman in this circumstance is a slut or is wrong, but a human can’t always help how they feel. You just need to help them get through it.


I sit here this evening thinking about my other hubby. You see, if you happen to follow him on Twitter and his own blog, you already know he uncovered a skeleton from his past. He had a great night getting reaquainted with her but stopped just shy of sex. You probably also read that she was somewhat ashamed of her behavior.

Why does this matters to me, you wonder? Well, because I see on of the loves of my life blaming himself for having done nothing wrong. I’ve had these, what I call, freakouts many times throughout the years that Bob and I have been in the lifestyle. It had nothing to do with the guys. It has everything to do with the inner battle between hormones and the inner voice of reason.

You see, in that moment of passion, what happens for me anyways, is that my hormonal voice…

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